I heard we made out
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
