I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
