batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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