The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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