I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
