one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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