In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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