He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
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