You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
