she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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