Umm I'm too high to move.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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