I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
