I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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