this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
