im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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