rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
