i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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