This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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