dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
