I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My penis needs a shock collar
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
