they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
