umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
