His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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