so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
