do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
