I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
