how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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