Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
