when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize