I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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