he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
