Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
