I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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