I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize