He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
