At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I cockslap morals
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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