Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
