i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
