I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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