He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
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then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
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My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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