What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
