Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
