I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
