I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
