Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
