Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
So many bounce houses so little time
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
