your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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