Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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