He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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