My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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