I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize