My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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