So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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