I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize