If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
