yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize