I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
