Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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