I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
