What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
