We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize