Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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