we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just pee around me
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
