You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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